So starting today, I am living alone for the first time, well pretty much ever. All bills are in my name, everything in the apartment is mine (for the most part). Ex moved most of her stuff out yesterday and is getting the rest tomorrow. Its weird living alone. The good thing is that I bought all of the furniture except for the TV/TV stand but Ex is being nice enough to let me borrow it since she has no place to put it right now.
When I came home last night, I broke down a little about it. I never wanted it to come to this. I always thought things would magically work themself out. But, after 30 min of that, I realized how ridiculous I was being. I went outside, and took a walk down to Astoria park. It was such a gorgeous night. And all of a sudden there were fireworks. Turns out Astoria does this every year before the 4th of July, but they were so beautiful. I thought, how can someone be sad with something this beautiful happening.
When I got home, I realized its time to start getting over things, and really start moving on. Its going to be hard getting over 3+ years of love, but other people have done it, why cant I. So I started an online dating profile, my first ever. I dont know what it is about those that just seems so depressing, but in the long run Im glad I did it (though i keep saying "please dont let anyone I know see me on here"). Its better that the 3am nights out at the bar, where a man dressed up like Wheres Waldo is all over you trying to drunkenly flirt, and sweating on you as he askes for a hug goodbye (true story of last saturday night).
So now, I have all this closet space, and nothing to put in there! I feel like I need to shop, but cannot afford to buy any more clothes. However, theres something liberating about having a place to your own. A place that is all yours, that you can decorate as you please. Im really excited to see what I can do with it. With me as well.
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