Just keep swimming...

I dont understand how bipolar people can become. Any by people, I mean me. But I have seen it happen to almost everyone I know at the end of a relationship. I am a pretty strong person, and very stubborn (I dare you to try to make me admit that I am wrong in any fight), but lately I've become so submissive. I make a point like "I will NOT text the ex today" and then I find some ridiculous reason to do it anyway. So last night, after not hearing from her for over a day (and the text messages beforehand were hearing about her sports day and trying to motivate her through ti), I texted that I wasnt going to text her anymore. That it wasnt fair of me to support/motivate her throughout her days when it was evident that she didnt care about my days. I finished it with hoping that she would get her stuff out of the apartment sooner than later, and good luck with everything".

And even after that, I was still hoping for some kind of response today. But I havent heard anything, and I know I wont. Its just nice to know that people care about you the way you care about them, but in this case I guess its not true.

I just dont get why people say "I want to be friends" when they break up and not just "I dont want to be with you anymore". I would prefer that honesty. Its hard enough losing a gf, but its harder when she was your best friend for 3 years, and has no problem just giving you up.

Im seriously looking forward to the day I return back to me. Where I am not this emotional, sad person anymore, who cares about love. I *never* cared about relationships, nor how or why they ended. I figured me time was always good time. And now, Im this bupolar mess, who is perfectly content and happy one second, and a phone checking, facebook stalking, crying fool the next. Its true what they say, women are crazy, and Im living proof.

Where is Lacuna, Inc. when you need it?

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;