The first time

So it begins...

Its hard enough to be a girl who realizes that she likes men, and women equally. You wonder, how is this possible. I have no idea. I have tried to figure it out over, and over again. But in the end there is no answer. It doesnt meant that I like every man. It doesnt mean that i like every woman. It just means, Ive fallen hard for both, and on numerous occassions.

But being bi comes with its criticisms. Women think I am doing it for the attention. Or that Im going to fuck with them and go back to "the penis". Men think im doing it to get thier attention. That its just fun, when drunk, to make out with girls.

In the long run, none of it is fun. Well, not entirely true. Making out is always fun. And finding someone youre attracted to, and that can kiss to the point that you get chills up and down youre entire body, thats fun.

I know a lot of lesbians. Many whom are gold stars (ie: never hooked up with a man). I find it funny when these ladies complain about girls kissing like a man. Yes its true, women kiss differently. But neither is bad. Women just have softer lips. But a nice hard kiss from a man could be just what youre looking for at the time.

These are the constant thoughts going through my head. The dichotomy of it all. Everytime i date a woman, I think about how I want the normal wedding, and  life afterwards. And everytime I date a man, I miss the soft embrace, and understanding of a woman.

Confused reading this? Imagine living it.

However, I dont regret any piece of it. I love who I am. I love the people that I have been with. And most of all, I hope all other gay, straight, bi people out there love who they are as much as I do!